The Necessity of Sleep
by Dlvvanzor
Summary: Light Yagami, new recruit of the NPA, really needs a good night's sleep. It's that creepy new roommate of his, though, keeping him awake all night reading mystery novels and crunching on sugar cubes... AU LxL Complete
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note**.

**A/N: Is anyone interested in co-authoring this? If you'd like to, please say so in a review.**

**After this chapter, it would probably switch to first person, and each subsequent chapter would switch between Light and L, unless anyone else has a cooler idea. :D**

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Light Yagami, overworked, underpaid new recruit of the NPA, sat at his desk, staring at a file that he absolutely could not force his mind to process. He had been up all night last night. Again. It was the third night in a row, and if he didn't get control of the situation, he was going to become very prissy very fast. Light did not like to be prissy. Light also did not like to hallucinate, but if he didn't get some sleep in the very near future, giant chartreuse cicadas in top hats would be waltzing around the room and Light would need a whole lot of very serious therapy.

He wasn't entirely sure _why_ he had decided to stay awake for the last 72 hours. He had no idea how he had ever come to believe that it was a good idea, or, even if it was a _bad_ idea (and it was, it was such a bad idea, he wanted to _sleep_, dammit!) how he had come to believe it was necessary. Light was very intelligent. Usually. This particular inexplicable action was disturbing him greatly. Certainly, there was nothing so important that he had to sacrifice his personal health...

Ah, but wait. Now he remembered. Oh yes, he remembered, and only a very sleep-deprived mind could possibly have allowed him to forget for even a moment the reason he kept hearing waltz music and the scritch of giant cicada feet.

It was that damned roommate of his.

Light was flat broke, so he had found the smallest, cheapest apartment in the city and batted his eyelashes at the landlady until she gave him a discount. He _still_ couldn't afford to keep the apartment for another month, so he put an ad in the paper.

'22 yr old male seeks roommate for cheap crappy aptmnt.'

He figured that at least he would get someone with a sense of humor.

He didn't know, however, that what he'd _get_ would be a freaky insomniac with crazy hair and an unhealthy obsession with mystery novels, sweets, and living in what Light considered to be filth.

Light reflected that at least he would someday be able to tell friends and family about the lunatic roommate he once had. He would receive looks of deep sympathy and outright pity, and some very hot, slightly older man on par with Johnny Depp would offer to let him move in to retroactively compensate for his trauma...

Light needed to sleep.

The apartment was one room, with suspicious claw marks on the pitted walls and unidentifiable stains on the thin, ragged carpets. Needless to say, Light's furniture consisted of no more than a desk, a single, slightly broken chair (which you had to sit on just right and NOT. MOVE. or it would collapse), and a mattress. There was no window, couch, television, shelves, or anything of the sort, and there'd be no toilet if it hadn't come bolted to the floor of the room. There was certainly no heat, about which Light did not allow himself to worry despite the fact that it was October and one of the outer walls had a crack he could stick his finger through.

Light refused to sleep on the bare floor and so, apparently, did his insane roommate. So they cozied right up and shared the mattress, curled up onto themselves to conserve heat under the threadbare comforter Light had seen a half-frozen hobo throw away as useless, had immediately snatched for himself, and had promptly held over his head, arms raised in victory.

Between his roommate thrashing around and his own developing case of hypothermia, Light hadn't slept. And he couldn't sleep at work because he was new and they'd fire his ass in about one point five seconds if he so much as put his head down.

And so Light had been awake for 72 hours and counting.

He kept himself awake by fantasizing about ways to annoy the hell out of his roommate. Why him? Why had _he_ gotten the nightmare roommate? Light supposed the man could have been a murderer, and that that might have been worse.

That depended though; did the murderer intend to kill _him_? Or was he just a miscellaneous murderer?

Light wondered if telling his roommate that he'd prefer to live with a murderer would make him move away. Would _pretending_ to be a murderer make him move away?

Except Light needed him to keep paying half the rent.

And anyway, Light was convinced that nothing he could do would make the man leave. He just seemed like that kind of guy.

Light rubbed his eyes until he saw spots, then slapped himself across the face. The person in the cube next to his looked at him like he was crazy, so Light flashed him his I Am Perfection smile. The man smiled back, already forgetting what he had just caught Light doing.

Worked every time.

Satisfied, he returned to his files.

A moment later, the phone rang. Light automatically scooped it up, tucking it under one ear, waiting for the other person to talk first.

"Light-kun?"

It was the roommate from Hell.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: We do not own Death Note.**

**A/N: Okay! Wow, this took forever to get the next chapter up! I'm horribly sorry. My first coauthor disappeared off the face of the Earth, and I didn't want to replace her too soon just in case she came back. When enough time had passed that I was pretty confident she wasn't interested anymore, I contacted RavenFire40, who wrote this chapter! Only problem is, her computer hates her. Then, I didn't get around to putting this up for aabout a month. T.T So... I can't promise quick updates. At all. I apologize. But I'll try to do better!**

**By RavenFire40! :D**

**L POV**

One desk, one chair, and a mattress with a thin blanket. Scratch marks on the far left wall, and various unidentified stains spread across the carpet.

All in all, I find it a pleasantly quaint place to live. All it needs are a few chocolate stains and it will feel like home until other arrangements can be made.

I do not mind the roaches and the ants that frequently come to visit, as long as they keep out of the food. At least my sweet things. The healthy food – i.e. anything that I didn't bring into the apartment myself – was up for grabs.

I suppose my high-strung roommate would not agree with that, but it is not as if I am feeding the poor six-legged creatures…very often.

Sometimes I get down on my hands and knees, like I am now, to examine their nature firsthand since it is near impossible to find them outside and I do not appreciate the sunlight in any case. They do not usually look at me so hungrily, but when they do I am obligated to feed them.

I remember Light leaving an extra half-slice of bread in the cupboard from this morning. If some other scavenger had not taken it away already, it will be the perfect size for the creature. While retrieving the slice I calculated that it had been four hours and forty-eight minutes since my last meal and I should be feeling hungry soon. That would not do.

I gently placed the remaining bread crumbs in front of the ant and reached in my pocket to pull out a cell phone. Light does not know I own it, and I do not intend on telling him.

With my index finger I dialed the carefully memorized number of my roommate's workplace. It rang for a moment, and then went silent.

"Light-kun?" I was ninety percent sure he had picked up the phone.

"Yes, Ryuuzaki?" I was right, as usual.

"Light-kun, what time do you think you will be returning?" I knelt down to watch the ant call his friends to pick up the rest of the crumbs before somebody else did.

"Why, Ryuuzaki?" Light sounded tired, and not at all like he wanted to bring food back, but I have always been persistent and do not give in so easily.

"According to my mental clock, it has been four hours and forty-nine minutes since my last meal and I would like to request you bring food back. I will financially reimburse you for your efforts."

Two or three more ants arrived to take home the crumbs. "Um… yeah, I'll probably be home in time for dinner."

"Very well. You may get whatever you wish for yourself, but for me, please bring back a package of taiyaki and chocolate dipping sauce."

"…For dinner?" His voice was strained over the line.

I paused for a moment, blinking once even if Light couldn't see it, trying to imagine his stress to better deal with it. "Well," I started, "as you so abruptly suggested last evening, I am attempting to eat something more substantial for dinner…" And sixty three percent sure I will not enjoy it.

"Taiyaki isn't 'substantial,'" Light snapped. "But whatever. I'll get you your taiyaki."

"I'd appreciate that, Light-kun. And the chocolate sauce."

There was a brief moment in which I thought Light might say something else, before the tell-tale single-tone ring told me my roommate had hung up.

I have never been one for goodbyes and was known to abruptly hang up myself, so this suited me just fine.

All I hoped was that Light would be considerate enough to buy a _large_ container of chocolate sauce.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: We still do not own Death Note.**

**A/N: This is still going to take a really long time between updates... for some reason I like to try to coauthor like five things at a time. I don't even know.**

**This chapter written by me.**

**Light POV**

I stood in front of the door to our apartment, hand on the doorknob, other hand curled around a grocery bag full of real food and his horrible crap that no human should ever try to classify as an actual meal. I glared at the bag but it didn't help: the junk food continued to exist.

I turned my glare to the door. I didn't want to go in there. Last time, he had been dissecting a frog that had somehow hopped into our apartment. Dissecting it on our carpet. With no kind of plastic or anything. Just straight on the carpet. The little frog bits never really came out and it wasn't like we could afford cleaning solution. So it still kind of smelled like rotting frog bits.

Frankly, I was scared of what I might find _this _time. What if he was trying to ease me into his personality by starting out with the quirks he considered little? What if the worst was yet to come?

But sleep was horribly necessary, and I could really use to eat, as well. I was so broke that I was lucky if I could afford to splurge on two meals a day. How had I ever let myself get this broke, anyway?

I had to go in. I had to face the roommate from Hell who was paying half the rent.

I opened the door slowly and it squealed like a stuck pig. Taking a deep breath, peering around, and then stopping dead.

He... was _feeding_... ants.

"Ryuuzaki! What the hell are you doing!" I demanded, running into the room and trying to demonstrate with my voice that, were my arms free, I would be waving them around wildly at him.

He looked up at me, craning his weird-ass neck, and blinked as if it should be obvious what he was doing. "I am feeding these ants."

I wanted to cry. I was so tired, so hungry. "Ryuuzaki, that was _my_ food!" I didn't even have the energy to be disgusted that he was encouraging ants, which, believe me, on any other day I would have been _more_ than enthusiastic to point out to him. Loudly.

He shrugged. "They need it more than you do."

"You'd think so," I snapped, angry tears burning at my eyes. I tossed his daiyaki and chocolate sauce at him and tore my own convenience-store food out of the bag. He mildly caught what I threw at him without looking up. Dick. How dare he have athletic abilities when all I could do was look hot without a shirt (which would be good for attracting the Johnny Depp guy I was expecting any day now) and/or play tennis?

With him actually quiet for the moment (praise the Lord!), I plopped down onto the floor and dove head-first into my dinner, relishing the feeling of _not being hungry_. I hadn't eaten since dinner the day before. Being broke. Wonderful stuff. It's truly great what a college education will do for you, isn't it?

"Light-kun, may I have one of your pieces of tofu?"

My mood was so elevated by the 'actually having dinner' thing that I didn't even mind passing over the smallest white cube I could find. He was probably hungry, too, after all, since all he ate was sweets. Sweets just don't fill you up for long. All those empty calories.

What I _did_ mind, however, was that Ryuuzaki immediately gave it to the ants.

"Ryuuzaki!" I cried. "Why would you _do_ that?"

He glared at me. "Ants have rights too, Light Yagami."

"No they don't! They're ants!"

"Of course they do. All life has value."

"Value, yes, but not _rights_!"

"Intrinsic rights, not legal rights."

"...Stop giving my food to ants!"

Ryuuzaki raised both hands in the air, palms towards me in the universal gesture meaning, 'okay, fine, shut hell up already, I'll stop.' Then he got this really evil smirk on his face that I _knew _could _not _be good. He picked up the cube, gently brushing the ants off of it. "Would you like it back?"


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note.**

**A/N: Slow-publishing fic is slow-publishing!**

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**Light POV**

In retrospect, it was probably impolite of me to hit him so hard across the face that he actually fell backwards, but, in all fairness, he _had_ tried to engage me in a lengthy conversation about ant rights.

Regardless, he didn't call the police, opting instead to simply kick me as hard as I had hit him, and then we went about our business.

_My_ business being to collapse onto the mattress and pass out.

Sadly, my plan was waylaid by the fact that Ryuuzaki couldn't be quiet for a consecutive twenty seconds, which I was _sure_ would be enough for me to fall asleep at this point. I hadn't known it was possible to eat sugar cubes so loudly. Apparently it was.

What was _really_ impressive was his ability to _read_ loudly. Sighing, I opened one eye and peered at him. He was perched on our treacherous chair, somehow managing to not send it toppling over despite the fact that _I_, with my _normal_ sitting, usually had trouble with it. He was, however, causing it to creak, and he read so fast that the almost-constant flip of pages was actually annoying.

I looked at my watch- the only timekeeping object in the entire apartment. Midnight. This had to stop.

So, calmly, I sat up.

"Ryuuzaki?"

"Oh, Light-kun. You are still awake?"

"Yeah. Look. I need you to stop making noise, okay? Just let me get _one_ full night of sleep."

"If Light-kun is such a light sleeper, perhaps it was unwise of him to acquire a roommate."

I was sleep-deprived. _That_ is how I justify my next action. Because I would _have_ to be unbearably exhausted, starved, and stressed out to do what I did.

Which was burst into tears.

His eyes went wide... well, wider... and he stared at me. "Light-kun?" He actually sounded concerned, too, which made me cry harder. Why was I such an asshole? This man couldn't help being so socially awkward and physically repulsive. I really should take it easy on him... but I just _despised _him _so much_...

"Light-kun, I do not understand why you are crying," he said gently, setting his book down, pushing aside his plate of sugar cubes, and uncurling himself from his chair, slouching over to me. "What is the matter?"

"I hate you so much, but I'm broke and I'll be homeless if I kick you out," I wept.

To his credit, he didn't look offended that I had just blatantly told him I hated him, nor did he look particularly surprised.

"Well, Light-kun, what can I do to be less irritating to you?"

"Wait... really?"

"Certainly. It is not like I irritate you on _purpose_."

I blinked at him.

"Um... okay. Then... can you... just make absolutely no noise for maybe five minutes? Just until I get to sleep?"

"Of course."

Suspicious but willing to accept the unlikely in light of the situation, I dropped down onto my mattress, slammed my eyes shut, and made the best possible use of the five minutes.

I was out in less than two.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note.**

**A/N: Okay! A post! This is not supposed to be a very long or well thought-out fic. XD And yet it's taking years to get it all written, lol. Ravenfire40 says that she wants to give it another shot, so if she sends me a chapter from L's POV I'll stick it in between the relevant chapters. I'm more than ready to be done with this fic... and I imagine you are too, lol.**

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For a few moments, upon waking, everything was perfect. I was warm, relatively well-rested (as I had actually slept for six hours), and... did I say warm? _Really_ warm. Not... unpleasantly warm... but warm as if...

I recognized the kind of 'warm' that was.

That was the warm of a guy. Sleeping. _On_ you.

Had I met my perfect guy on par with Johnny Depp and been too sleep-deprived to remember it? Naturally, I _would_ be able to charm him even while-

Wait.

"RYUUZAKI. GET THE FUCK OFF ME."

The dream was shattered. Instead of some hunk with whom I would ride into the sunset, it was my creepy roommate, who apparently I could not escape no matter how hard I tried. I should have suggested he leave me alone for two _days_ instead of five minutes, but I had been sleep-deprived and not thinking clearly.

A sleepy head popped up, and I noticed that my neck was suddenly cold. Had he been face-down on my neck? How sleep-deprived had I _been?_

"Light-kun?"

"GET. OFF. OF. ME."

"What?" He blinked slowly and tried to shift so that he could rub his eyes.

He was kind of cute when he was partially asleep...

NO.

"You, Ryuuzaki, need to get off of me, Light, immediately."

L rubbed his eyes for another moment, then shook his head but complied, rolling off of Light. "I don't see why Light-kun is treating this as such a significant problem," he mumbled. "It is cold and you are warm."

"A _problem?"_ I screamed. "The _problem_ is that I woke up and you were_ lying across me_ and you're naked."

Something was wrong with that sentence.

I thought hard for a minute. "Holy fuck! Ryuuzaki, you're _naked_!" I accused him.

He blinked again. "Correct. I still fail to comprehend the gravity of this situation. Light-kun, shrieking is rarely appropriate at such an hour of the morning."

I took a deep breath. I needed to calm down or I was going to kill my roommate. Which would be bad because, again, I still needed the rent money.

"Okay. Ryuuzaki, let me just say this now: I don't see you that way."

L cocked his head. "Of course not, Light-kun. I am male."

"..."

This was not the ideal way to start my day. I had almost no practice coming out, because usually everyone already _knew_ the moment they met me.

"I'm gay."

"I am glad to hear that, Light-kun. It really is remarkable the effects a few hours of uninterrupted sleep can have on the human psyche when-"

If it was classy to facepalm, I would have done so in that moment. "No, Ryuuzaki, I'm not saying I'm _happy_."

"You are not happy?"

"I just slept for the first time in recent history. I'm _ecstatic._ But that's not what we're talking about right now."

"What do you mean, then?"

Was I really going to have to explain this to him? _Really_? Was it going to be true that I had to spend my morning explaining the birds and the... birds?

ALSO! How had this man lived to be however old he is without learning what a gay person is?

"Um, okay. Ryuuzaki, gay means... like... okay. So, you know about the birds and the bees?"

A blank stare answered my question.

"All right then. Um..." It was time to be blunt. "Sex. _Tell_ me you know what sex is."

"Of course, Light-kun," L scolded me, frowning.

"All right. Well, as you know, sex is usually between a man and a woman."

"Correct."

"Well, sometimes men have sex with other men and aren't attracted to women. That's what gay means."

"Oh! Light-kun is homosexual. Very well."

I could have hit him. However, contrary to my expectations, he did not immediately move to cover himself up. He just continued to stare at me.

"Light-kun is going to be late for work," he pointed out.

The urge to hit him rekindled, but he was right. Except it was _his _fault I was going to be late.

Instead of beating him to a quivering pulp, I got dressed as quickly as I could (whipping some clothes at him) and, already late, booked it out the door.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note.**

**Written by Dlvvanzor, Light POV**

* * *

Now that I was significantly less sleep-deprived, I had a whole new outlook on my job. Amazingly, I had forgotten how much my work means to me. Defending justice, solving crimes and all that.

Plus, men in uniform _everywhere_.

I never claimed to not be shallow. Not even once in my entire life.

I worked happily, wowing everyone in my office with my amazing efficiency. Smugly, I began to imagine how efficient I could be with _seven _hours of sleep, although I understood that it was an unlikely eventuality, at least in the near future. Who knew, though? Maybe my hard work today would get me a promotion or a raise that would allow me to no longer need a roommate. Or perhaps that still eagerly-awaited Johnny Depp future boyfriend would magically appear soon. And then he would fall madly in love with me, worship me, and support me in my every endeavor.

That would be great, and with six hours of sleep, anything could happen.

The _only _damper was that I didn't have lunch or money to _get_ lunch. But I had eaten last night, so I would get through it. Plus, frankly speaking, sleep worked wonders for the ventromedial hypothalamus.

I looked at my desk clock. It was already 11:30! Not that it mattered, because I wouldn't be breaking for lunch, but-

The phone rang.

A little bit relieved that I would have something specific to do instead of just sitting around and trying to ignore the hunger pangs, I picked up the phone, tucking it between my ear and my shoulder.

"Hello?"

"Light-kun?"

I almost hung up. I really did. But Ryuuzaki _had_ been nice the night before, and he _was_ really hot when he was naked...

...Not that I'd been thinking about his naked body all day. Of course not.

Anyway, instead of hanging up, I managed to make myself politely say, "Yes, Ryuuzaki. How may I help you?

"Would Light-kun be agreeable to lunch?"

Food. Way to rub it in my face, man.

I sighed. "No, Ryuuzaki, I have to work. I don't have time to get you food and drive all the way back home."

"You misunderstand me," he said, tone giving me absolutely no indication of what he may be feeling. "I am inviting you to lunch. Out. Since it is my prerogative, I will be taking full financial responsibility."

My mind went blank. "Like, lunch. With actual food?"

"Yes, Light-kun, I believe that 'actual food' is served at most restaurants. At the very least, 'actual food' is served at any restaurant that has remained in business for more than a few months. If you would feel more comfortable, we can screen for restaurants that have been in operation for long enough to avoid the unlikely but admittedly not impossible proposal that they serve fictional food."

I briefly wondered what percentage of people actually understood him when he talked and felt vaguely privileged that I was one of the few.

"Why are you doing this?"

"I have already slept on Light-kun in the nude in a manner he considered inappropriate. Although it would not be the traditional order of these proceedings, as far as I am aware, I would at this point like to 'take you out' to restore the date/nudity ratio which is currently unbalanced."

"Well I-"

WAIT.

This is why sleep was important, see? Because, for a moment, I almost missed the fact that he had called it a date.

A date.

With... _that_.

_That_ creature who... I'll admit it again, I'm not ashamed... looked damn good naked. (Did I claim to have grown depth since my comment about men in uniform?) And he had a point about the date/nudity ratio...

"Sure. Fine. Where and when?"

"When is your lunch break, Light-kun?"

"Noon. When is yours?"

"That will not be an issue."

"Um... okay?" Was he out of the job?

"Give me the name of your favorite restaurant, and we shall meet there at noon."

"Well my favorite is... Ryuuzaki, I don't think you can afford it."

"I am fairly certain that I can."

I smiled, a little confused but definitely hopeful. What was he hiding? I mean... he lived in a tiny, crappy apartment with the most anal roommate in the world- _me_. If he had money (especially enough to pay for the restaurant I would name), why wouldn't he just... get a better apartment? Buy a _house_?

"Okay, I have to know... is this a _date_?"

"I believe we have already established this, Light-kun."

"But this morning you said you're not gay, so...?"

"I said nothing of the sort." If I hadn't been paying attention, I might have missed how his monotone managed to sound slightly... offended, maybe? "As a police officer, Light-kun should really pay more attention to what people sa-"

"I meant _homosexual_, Ryuuzaki."

"I understand that, Light-kun," he said sweetly, patronizingly. "We covered the alternate meaning of that word earlier today and I both retain the additional definition _and_ assure you that I am gay in any and all senses of the word."

"Oh. Okay! Well, then... it's a date. And stuff."

"Will you _now_ tell me the name of the restaurant?"

I told him, waiting for the intake of breath or the cry of pain. It was a pretty well-known one, and its food was far from inexpensive.

But "Excellent," he proclaimed instead, "I am aware of that address. I will see you there shortly."

"Bye Ryu-" He hung up.

I wasn't a big fan of such pleasantries anyway.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note.**

**A/N: Yes, they're in Japan. Yes, they will be using dollars. That's just how it's gonna be. XD**

* * *

I had worked hard enough so far that day that no one said a word when I suddenly jumped to my feet, grabbed my emergency grooming kit, and sprinted to the bathroom. Additionally, the grooming kit and the haste implied a date, and no guy was going to mess with a guy who had a date. They might mess with me if they'd known the date was with a _guy_, but even then probably not.

I didn't have the two hours I would usually devote to primping before a date (especially at the restaurant we were going to!), but I figured that Ryuuzaki had already seen me at my best and at my worst so it didn't really matter. Nevertheless, I did what I could, fixing up my hair and washing my face, straightening my clothes. Suits were required (luckily I wore one to work). Yeah, it was _that_ expensive. Plus, you needed a reservation, which I know he didn't have, so I wouldn't be surprised (or offended) if Ryuuzaki met me at the door and informed me that he had misjudged and we had to go elsewhere. _I_ certainly wouldn't be able to afford a single meal there, let alone _two. _Plus. Reservations. And did he even own a suit?

At the absolute last moment I could leave and still get there at noon, I flew out the door, speed-walking down the sidewalk. The restaurant was nearby so I didn't have to keep up the pace for long.

Somehow, he was already there, had already requested seats and _gotten_ then even though it was packed, he wasn't wearing a suit, and you normally needed reservations days in advance. He was sitting at a table by a huge window, hunched over (but at least his feet were on the floor and he had shoes on), one hand resting delicately on the clean white of the tablecloth, fingers tapping. Knowing he couldn't see me- he was so intent upon the Tokyo skyline and the chaos outside, although his gaze was distant- I took a moment to watch him.

I wasn't sure how I had managed to not notice it until this morning, but he was... like... really beautiful. _Really_ beautiful. All the strange angles and messy hair and how he dressed and sat- all the things I _had_ noticed before today, and _hated_... I now saw that they all came together. They made him startlingly unique. Mysterious. Hard to look away from. And the look in his eyes right this moment as he stared out the window... a million miles away but so sharp and unreadable...

As if sensing that he was being stared at, Ryuuzaki's scraggly head turned straight to me, and our eyes locked.

This was so damn cheesy and romantic that I nearly turned around and left.

Ryuuzaki raised a hand and waved at me subtly, far more elegantly than I had imagined he was capable of. In response, I nodded slightly and joined him at the table.

We just stared at each other for a moment.

"Hello, Light-kun," he eventually said.

"Hello, Ryuuzaki."

Social convention complete, he nodded to himself, pleased, then picked up his menu between two fingers, scanning it quickly. He frowned, then flipped it to the back, at which point he smiled.

Desserts.

Of _course_ he would come to such a nice restaurant and get only dessert. Oh well- he was paying, he could do whatever he wanted.

I didn't have to look to know what I _wanted_, but I _did_ need to look to see what I would _have_. He couldn't possibly have $149 to drop on my lunch. As a point of conversation, though, I showed him the meal whose memory caused me to occasionally drool in my sleep. "This, right here?" I said dreamily, pointing to the little name on the menu. "This is my favorite meal in the world. Of anywhere I've ever been, and every restaurant I've ever had it at- _this_ is the best."

"That is what Light-kun is getting? He does not wish to try the five-course presentation?" he asked, puzzled. "This restaurant is world-renowned for it. It begins with a simple yet elegant-"

"Ryuuzaki, I'm gonna get a salad."

"Does... Light-kun like salads more than he likes the meal he moments ago described as his 'favorite in the world?'"

"Well, no, but it's $149. And, Ryuuzaki, the five-course thing is _$1000!_"

He stared at me blankly. "And?"

"A thousand dollars."

"I heard you the first time," he said disapprovingly. "But I fail to comprehend your point, if you have one."

"That's _expensive_."

"_You've_ eaten here before. And I've come to understand that Light-kun is in the possession of very little money."

"I've been _brought_ here before. Various rich guys have brought me here. Never on my own, and never a _single_ meal costing _$1000."_

Ryuuzaki sighed. "I told you. Get whatever you want. I am truly indifferent as to the price."

"Do you plan on dining and dashing?" I demanded.

"Of course not!" he said, appalled. "I would never do such a thing, especially when accompanied by an officer of the law. It is counterintuitive to-"

"Then how can you afford this?" I insisted. "Ryuuzaki, I don't get it. You live in a tiny, run-down apartment with _me_ as a roommate. This implies that you're just as broke as I am. And yet, here we are: you somehow got us a table _without _a reservation, ignoring the dress code, and you're urging me to try a completely unnecessary five-course dinner _for lunch_."

"Money is not an object."

"_How_?"

He paused for a long moment, surveying me.

"...I work closely with L."

I laughed. "Sure."

"I am not lying, Light-kun."

I narrowed my eyes. "How closely?"

"Very closely."

"Have you heard his real voice?"

"Every day."

"Have you seen his face?"

"Yes."

"...Watari?"

"Closer."

"Who is closer to L than Watari?"

"No one but L himself, Light-kun."

I froze. It _couldn't_ be.

"Ryuuzaki... that doesn't make sense. If only L is closer to L than Watari, but you are closer to L than Watari is, then you would have to be L." I laughed a little.

He sighed in a rush through his nose, frustrated. He leaned forward, dropped his voice. "I am L."

My eyes went wide and suddenly the only thing I could hear was my heartbeat, which had suddenly double-timed. I think I almost fell out of my chair. The thing I knew for sure was that the only sound I managed was "ack."

The guy who had woken up naked on top of me. Who I had been complaining about constantly since he first moved in. The man who fed my food to ants and dissected frogs on carpet... how could _he_ be...

"Seeing as you are in law enforcement, I am certain that you know of me," he continued. "If you do, I am sure that you understand the full implications of that title. Including the... extravagance... with which I can afford to behave. To me, Light-kun, $1000 means very little."

"Ack."

"...Are you in respiratory distress?"

"...ack..."

He looked alarmed, now, so I forced myself to say, "L?"

"Yes? Although please continue to call me Ryuuzaki for safety reasons."

"You're..."

"_Yes_, Light-kun."

"Can you... prove it?"

He thought for a minute. "No. Not conclusively. But there are several factors which, if taken into account, make it highly likely that I amwho I claim to be."

"Like what?" I asked faintly.

"Firstly, how did I get here so promptly? I do not possess a car."

"Someone... drove you?"

"Then there are my considerable funds, evidenced by our outing today."

"Well..."

"My intelligence, which I hope you have picked up by now."

"But you're so..."

"One of the more polite ways I have been described is 'quirky.'"

"Let's go with that."

"I also have perfect recall and I know 14 languages fluently, 9 nearly fluently, and 16 well enough to ask for a restroom."

"All those mystery novels..."

"Indeed. And, no offense meant, Light-kun, but why would someone of my means willingly live in a hovel with someone like you- and I assure you, I mean no offense- except for a very specific reason, possibly relating to an undercover operation of some kind?"

"You're really..."

"Yes. I really am."

The waiter arrived to take our orders.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note.**

**A/N: It was pointed out to me that I accidentally have Light refer to L as L in his head occasionally in this story, before he is supposed to know. That's my fail, please ignore it. XD Except he knows NOW, so you don't have to ignore it anymore. :D But yeah, don't be confused- he didn't know before, I just screwed up. :)**

**Last chapter! Kind of caught me by surprise, but I'm pleased with how it ended.**

* * *

"Hello, my name is Pierre. May I take your order?"

I knew some French (not enough to speak, but enough to get by when listening), so I was able to be fully and completely impressed when Ryuuzaki- _L_- answered Pierre flawlessly in it.

"For myself, I would like crème Brule, mousse au chocolat, and blanc de poire."

The waiter, well-trained, did not bat an eye. Perhaps- probably- he was used to eccentric rich people. "And for your lunch?"

"Just that, monsieur."

He still didn't react. Admirable, because _I_ was over here rolling my eyes. You would think that _L_ (was I seriously on a date with L? Could he truly _be_ L?) would know how to take better care of himself.

They were both looking at me and I realized I had zoned out staring at Ryuuzaki, who was smirking back at me. Shit.

I opened my mouth to order, but I couldn't do it. We had gone round and round and I was so mixed up that I didn't know if he was L, or if he wasn't but still genuinely didn't care what I got, or if he was just being polite and I was supposed to get something else...

Ryuuzaki sighed. In French, he said, "He desires the five-course dinner, he is simply too polite to admit it. Please bring that."

"Thank you sirs," the waiter replied, and left to put in the order.

"Holy shit," I mumbled, "you really_ are_... him."

"I am."

We were silent.

"Your French is so good... what's your first language?"

"I don't remember."

"You're undercover right now?"

"Something like that. More accurately, I am doing research. Familiarity with the lives of the poor, first-hand."

"Yeah, the poor definitely take their roommates out on extremely expensive dates."

"I am going for the general sentiment, not a literal experience," he said with a small smile. "But your argument is valid."

"Do you date _all _your roommates?"

"Certainly not. Although I have found little trouble... acquiring... those people whom I desire, there are few in my life who have caught and maintained my attention long enough for me to take them anywhere. And few roommates."

"How did you get into... your work?"

"There is not much I am at liberty to tell you. However, I can say that my talents for deductive reasoning were discovered at an extremely young age, and a mentor brought me up to be a detective."

"Why do you eat so many sweets?"

His lips twisted into a smile I had never seen from him; it was childish and... adorable. "Because I like them and there is not a person in the world that has the authority to tell me to stop."

"That's kind of amazing."

"I know."

"What's your favorite?"

"Cake, indubitably. Strawberry cake." He kind of zoned out for a split second, thinking about it. "Now you, Light-kun," he said gently. "Where did you grow up?"

I told him the name. "Little place. Thoroughly unexciting and my high school was so boring that I wanted to go on a killing rampage."

"Why did you become a police officer?"

"My father is one. And because it would let me get out of my hometown." I couldn't imagine how this would be interesting to him.

He looked at me seriously. "What is your favorite color?"

"Um... red?"

He nodded to himself, apparently satisfied. "I see. What university did you attend?"

"To-Ho. First in my class."

"Very impressive, Light-kun. You should be exceptionally proud of yourself."

"I am." I _was_. I was also so modest.

"Do you enjoy any particular activities?"

"I like to learn new things... tennis..."

"I also enjoy tennis! I suggest that we play some time."

Was that another date? Or was that just, having corrected the date/nudity ratio, a friendly invitation? Either way, I'd play with him. The image made me chuckle, but I agreed.

"Do you have brothers or sisters?"

"I have a little sister, Sayu."

"Do you have parents?"

"Yes, of course."

"What are they like?"

"Well..." No one had ever asked me to describe my parents before. Quite frankly, it made me wonder about _his_. Maybe he had never known them. "My mother is quiet, gentle, friendly. Very housewifey. My father is really black and white. Things are either right or wrong. His sense of justice probably rivals yours... actually, I think you've worked with him. Soichiro Yagami?"

"Oh! Indeed. His sense of justice does in fact rival mine, you are correct. We caught a particularly potent serial killer together a few years ago."

"I aided that investigation, actually."

"You did," he confirmed. "I remember now. A very young college student assisting us... it was infuriating for many members of the task force. And now I end up cohabitating with this same young man. I believe this is an acceptable time for the phrase 'it's a small world.'"

"I believe so."

"Your family. What do you do together? I am attempting to imagine Soichiro Yagami _not _working. Do you go on family vacations? How does it work?"

It stung my heart a little bit to suddenly know I was correct. "You don't have parents."

"No, Light-kun."

"You can just call me 'Light,' you know," I said softly. "I think that would be appropriate at this point."

He looked down and smiled to himself. "Light."

Pierre finally returned. We had already been here for half an hour, and my break was supposed to be twenty minutes long. With five courses (each so perfect and delicate that one _had_ to eat them slowly), this was going to take at least another forty-five. Oh well.

When he left, Ryuuzaki took a forkful of his chocolate mousse and brought it in front of his eyes, examining it carefully. "Light-kun... I believe the food here is not fictitious."

I'm pretty sure I never laughed so hard in my life. And it was completely _separate_ from all the money and esteem and power of L, that my heart did some kind of flutter.

Maybe... _maybe..._ sleep wasn't necessary after all.

Maybe all I needed was _him_.


End file.
